You Make Me Feel
by ReturntoZero1
Summary: He had found a note in his locker.  It was sealed with a heart sticker, and when he flipped open the envelope, the sweetest scent floated into the air. Minato wondered why someone would try so hard...Warnings: Yaoi, Angst, Tragedy, and AU


Title: You Make Me Feel

Warnings: Angst, yaoi, AU(Alternate Universe) and tragedy

Here he was again.

Minato couldn't help but come to art class, and his fellow students had stopped coming, and he stood alone in the room with his canvas set up. His white sleeves were rolled up, ending around his elbows, and his blue bangs clipped back. It began with a simple reach, and soon, he stained the canvas with all sorts of lines and colors, trying to release the tension from the day. His mind was blank, he simply drew what he felt, impulsively stopping and changing directions to do another piece.

His heart was calm, his body resting with content as his feelings were spilled onto the pages.

The bluenette loved the silence, his mind would finally come at ease as long as he had his special place to go, and a warmth settled in his chest as his hands had created something beautiful. It had been simple and easy, a yellow lily, but it's color was soft, as light as the sun's rays. Each petal was curled back, completely open to him as he continued to detail his newest master piece. He sighed happily, in a dreamy state as a small smile slipped onto his lips.

He heard the door slide open, and his world was broken, he quickly put on a blank face and turned to the intruder. Nothing changed as Yukari approached him, and she smiled brightly, a quick peck to the lips as her hello. She had fawned over his painting, clutching his arm as she babbled about how she loved the colors and such. He said a small thank you, pulling away as he put his brush down.

She tried to get him to leave early, but instead he ignored her as he prepared a new canvas, hoping that she would leave soon.

After hearing the sliding of the door, he finally sat, waiting for a feeling to arise.

_Do you even know what love is?_

His heart felt troubled, confused by Yukari's question. His mind quickly filled with images from various romance movies and shows, flickering over to the couple that makes out in front of his homeroom, and finally stopping at the flower, trying to connect all the loose ends.

_I bet you can't even love with that heart of yours..._

His hand began to move quickly, gliding across the paper with ease, sad blue tones consuming the whole page. Again he tried, thinking about Yukari and how pretty she was, how she kissed, how she held his hand, how they hugged and stayed still for the longest. Despite all the warm touches, none of these feelings had penetrated his cold cold heart.

_I can't do this anymore, I love you but you don't feel a thing..._

Even though she had left with tears in his eyes, he just wanted to make someone happy.

With one final stroke he finished his painting, complete with blues and sadness dripping off every inch, but he could barely feel the pain hit his heart. In fact, he felt like he would rather have some tea as of now. Soon he left, his sadness forgotten as he packed up and left for the sweet hot liquid.

-Love-Love-Love-

Akihiko waited nervously outside, his hands trembling as he reached for the door, finding his leader immersed in his paintings. He came in, wiping his sweaty palms against his jeans and saw those aloof blue eyes stare at him. A blush rose to his cheeks, and he felt his timid personality kick in.

_So...I need to tell you something._

Minato waited, quickly ending his project and leaning back onto one of the tables, and waited for the question to be released into the world. He almost smiled, it would be funny if Akihiko was going to ask him out.

_I...I...Um...I-I think that I love you._

Fuck.

The distant teen quickly shook his head side to side, his eyes continuing to stay dull. Akihiko winced, tears softly rimming his eyes, the rejection punching him right across the face. Minato reached out to hug the platinum haired boy, trying to stop the tears from falling from his eyes. The boy pushed, wanting to escape from his embrace, but he continued to hold him, waiting for his sobs to soften. He opened his lips almost whispering, "I can try to...love."

Akihiko came by everyday at the art room, watching his beloved paint. He had found him truly beautiful there, colors smeared on his pale skin, his eyes hazy with happy clouds. Their relationship was slow, soft and innocent as they would shyly kiss one another, hesitant as they began to close the space between them.

Minato sighed, he felt nothing.

_Why don't you want to kiss me?_

He had tried, he really had.

_You are fucked up you know that?_

He really did wanted it to work.

_I can't do this anymore, you don't even care, and I am not going to wait forever._

He slammed the door shut, and despite all the screaming, he just wanted to make someone happy.

His emotions came quicker this time, this time he only used gray and black, mixing them and crossing them as he allowed his heart to spill on the page. Once he hand became tired, he packed up, quickly deciding that he was going to go see a movie tonight, but he would be alone instead of with a partner.

-Love-Love-Love-

He had found a note in his locker.

It was sealed with a heart sticker, and when he flipped open the envelope, the sweetest scent floated into the air. Minato wondered why someone would try so hard. His eyes glanced over loopy writing, finding not a cheesy romantic love-note, just one sentence was scribbled across the page.

_Care to smile for me?_

Minato felt his lips perk upwards, it was hilarious, and for some reason it was lovely.

Day after day a new note appeared, the same soft scent greeting him before every message. Minato had begun to look forward to finding the notes, each once filling him with a small fire that warmed him to the core. Every syllable would make his heart skip a beat, the sudden stop followed by a wonderful flutter in his chest. He had passed by a flower shop with fresh lilies in the front and immediately recognized the scent. Soon he began to walk away, an extra bounce in his step as his eyes swirled with such a lovely blue.

_I hope I can make you laugh one day._

Minato had continued getting his note, his mind finally wondering the intent behind these notes. Again he smiled, and felt a small blush rise to his cheeks. It was uncomfortable, and Minato kinda didn't like it. His heart fluttered, and a butterfly came to mind. He laid a hand on his chest, feeling the little butterfly banging on his chest, crashing around all his insides. It was strange, and the whole feeling was foreign. He quickly put away his note, and grabbed a piece of paper, scribbling on it and sticking it in his locker, hoping that they would find it and respond.

-Love-Love-Love-

The boy had rubbed his eyes, that butterfly would not stop banging around in his chest, keeping him up all night and causing him to pass out at an ungodly hour. He dragged his feet across the school, quickly stopping by his locker and quickly entering his combination. His eyes fell on the note resting atop his books, somehow being there before the usual time.

He stared in wonder, it was bigger than all the other envelopes, and once he opened it, a lily hid inside, it's curled petals a light yellow. It's scent filled the air, intoxicating every breath he took. Another note lay hidden inside, and he felt a smile bloom on his face.

_I just want to make someone happy._

A warmth slid from his eyes, and his vision blurred, the bright yellow becoming the only visible color in the world. Lifting a hand to his face, he touched his warm tears, completely shocked at the fact that such a surge of feelings had overcome him. It was an intense feeling, as if he was as light as a feather, every breath better than the last. That lily was gorgeous, nothing could compare to the beauty of the sweet smelling flower. He left to his class, not even bothering to wipe his tears, it was the first day he came to class with a smile.

Another letter came the same day, the note arriving at it's usual time. His heart thudded loudly as he opened it, his blood rushing to his cheeks once again. He fixed his hair, he had tucked the lily in his hair in the morning, smiling as the day went and receiving much love from everyone. Despite all the attention his eyes remained dim, dreaming about that lovely person who made him **feel**.

_As long as you want me here I will continue to leave these notes._

Minato felt his legs wobble, and soon he leaned against the cool lockers, sliding down them and crying from sheer joy. Just a few words had made him feel so...

It was indescribable.

His paintings were filled with all sorts of bright colors, reds and pinks, yellow and light blue, each color somehow fading into the next, being able to all coexist at once. The shades had flowed nicely, mixing perfectly and creating all sorts of colors in between. Once they had blended they transitioned beautifully, almost as if they were perfectly harmonious.

He would never be able to convey all his emotions, and no matter how he painted, it would never prove how much he was in love. It was a beautiful thing, he might even be going crazy because of it. He smiled none the less, laughing softly, it was completely worth it. He tried again to display his feelings on paper, but he would never be finished, these feelings growing with every passing breath. His exhales only brought him higher, wanting more seconds to go by in order to come to that lovely hour, one that would send him straight to the heavens.

For once he was finally happy.

-Love-Love-Love-

Months passed, and soon Minato was going to graduate, only two more days left till graduation. He had been a smart kid, working hard and achieving all high honors in his classes. He was smart and loved art, but had almost no friends, but he was content. All he needed was his secret admirer, somehow they had given him all the love he ever needed. Yet every passing moment was nerve wracking, he had wondered what the last note meant, worrying over the meaning.

There was no note.

His heart clenched painfully, deeply disturbed by the fact that there was nothing for him. His admirer had done this for 2 years, keeping up his perfect notes and never failing to deliver them on time. Thoughts swirled rapidly in his mind, all kinds of excuses came to mind and he worried that his secret love was hurt or ill. A frown settled on his face, his eyes overflowing with tears, painful tears that ripped through his chest.

He couldn't make his admirer happy.

_I'm sorry I can't do this anymore. Please forgive me._

It was all his last card said, and at first it had puzzled the boy, but he had felt the dread set in, but he refused to believe it, it had been abrupt but he was hoping at least for an explanation. He had feared the worst, hoping that this was all just a horrible dream, that he would wake up and still be loved. He felt incredibly alone, remembering his lonely childhood, how no one would come near him.

All he wanted was to learn how to love.

It seemed like a wonderful thing, but it was now the worst pain he had ever felt in his life. Every nerve in his body flared with pain, his chest stinging and every horrible feeling spilling inside him. His heart grew hollow and long, he couldn't even swallow right. Every sweet memory became bitter and nothing was there to distract him from the pain. He couldn't even move, he just wanted to lay down and die. He leaned on the blue lockers, now they were ice cold against his skin, and he felt his eyes burn and sting.

A weight had settled in his chest, the butterfly was dying.

Feeling a hand on his shoulder he turned around, unable to see through glassy eyes. All he saw was yellow, and a soothing voice greeted him, "Minato..." Soon warm arms wrapped around him, and the bluenette allowed himself to hold onto the warmth, letting out every ounce of fear and sadness he had.

He was sorry he couldn't love Yukari.

He was sorry he couldn't love Akihiko.

He was sorry that he couldn't talk to people.

He was sorry that he couldn't make friends.

He was sorry that he couldn't feel anything.

He was sorry that he couldn't make anyone happy.

He was sorry that he couldn't love anyone.

A sob escaped from his lips, and the blurry teen just kept holding him, rubbing small circles on his back. He smiled bitterly, it was just like with Akihiko, but he didn't even know hi-

He snapped out from his thought when he felt warm water droplets land on his rosy cheeks, and he heard a soft cry come from the other boy. The blur then moved, picking up a bouquet of lilies and pushed them into Minato's arms. He wiped away all the tears that came, caressing the bluenette's rosy cheeks with his thumbs.

_Smile please, I just want you to be happy. I want to see you smile, and if you don't love me it's okay. I love you, and if I could make anyone in this world happy it would be you. I'm a coward, not even having the courage to come up to you and confess...I want to stay with you and make you happy...but I can't even do that right!_

Soon the tears stopped, and hey calmed down, simply lying in their embrace and breathing together. Minato smiled, "I love you too." The words had come out so easily, and yet his voice had put something inside each syllable, his love clear in his words. Soon he was finally able to see, recognizing the boy who had confessed. His eyes twinkled and his heart skipped a beat, hugging the other boy tightly and sighing with relief.

Ryoji had been a childhood friend, one of his only ones, but after the death of his parents Ryoji had left as well. Minato soon recalled that was the last day he smiled, the last day he cried, the last day he felt anything...

His butterfly was trying to leap from his chest, to go settle in Ryoji's hands and stay there forever.

The bluenette finally leaned in for a kiss, their lips touching softly as bliss washed over them. They kissed for a while, and Minato could feel his heart skip a few more beats, until finally it no longer go on. Again happiness filled his body, and he left hand and hand with Ryoji, leaving the lilies by his locker.

No one had seen him after that, but when Akihiko came to Minato's locker, he had seen the bouquet of lilies and a blue butterfly resting upon them...

**_A/N: I hope you enjoyed this, I just love angst...Reviews are always appreciated!_******


End file.
